Close To Forever
by navycorpsman
Summary: Various song inspired fics about our Roomies. Title taken from first Chapter. Only because it seems to suit. Spoilers for I DON'T and THE HONEYMOON'S OVER
1. So Close To Forever

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. They belong to ER, NBC, Michael Crichton and the other Powers that be that ruin our Roomies, but not to me.**

**The song is "SO CLOSE TO FOREVER" by Debbie Gibson. I own the CD the song is on, but Debbie Gibson owns the song.  
**

**Spoilers: "I Don't" and "The Honeymoon's Over"**

**Content Warning: None…**

**Summary: Ray ponders how close he and Neela had been to forever.**

* * *

_Jealousies_

_Misconceptions_

Ray stood at the door, looking at Neela and Tony. She had told him earlier that her memories associated with him and Michael didn't matter anymore and Hope interrupted them before she could expand. He laughed in disgust as Tony stroked Neela's cheek. A trip to the bar, he hoped, could cool the flames of jealousy that was aroused in him.

_Opinions_

_Outside advice_

The day of Gallant's funeral. Pratt telling him to give her time; to give her space. The more time and space Ray gave Neela, the more she pulled away and the more she turned to Gates. It wasn't _his_ choice to make anymore. _She_ had to decide. There, in that abandoned back room, he thought that maybe she had, but apparently, he was wrong. He knew that he should be happy for Abby and Luka, and deep down he was, but Gates and Neela…the image sickened him and he asked for another Jack and Coke.

_Fears of getting hurt again_

_Doubt in your eyes_

For so long, he hid his feelings, but there came a point when he couldn't. He was in love with her, but he could read her like a book. Well, at least like the first two chapters of a very long Tolstoy novel, anyhow. He had never seen her eyes sparkle like they did around Gates. _Gates._ He silently cursed the name of the man he considered his arch nemesis. _Like Superman and Lex Luther._ He played with the stir stick of his drink. Every time he looked at her, he only saw fear and doubt, though he was unsure what she had been afraid of.

Just the little conversation earlier let him know that her fear had been associated him with Michael. _Doesn't matter anymore, I guess._ One more long drink.

_Why do we listen?_

_Why do we care?_

_We almost made it there_

He closed his eyes and remembered the kiss. _That kiss!_ He could still feel her lips on his and taste the short non-fat vanilla strawberry latte she had been drinking. He had taken a chance kissing her. And it had been a week later, after avoiding the topic, she stood by the jukebox at Sam's birthday party, smiling up at him, telling him he wouldn't have to wait long. _And she lied. I have to wait…I have…_he took another long sip, wanting to drink himself into such an oblivion he'd forget her, what she said, and how she looked when she was talking to him and to Gates.

_We came so close to forever_

_Now what's done is done_

He was brooding. He knew it. _So totally Emo!_ He laughed silently to himself. Pratt had sensed something earlier when Gates walked in, a simply stunning Neela on his arm, laughing. "Bartender! Give my friend another one!" Greg had politely asked. Greg had known for a long time that Ray was in love with Neela. How Pratt figured it out, Ray didn't know, but it was kept just between them.

He ordered another one. He had followed Greg's advice, even scoffed and laughed at Pratt for his advice. He had given her time and she ran farther and farther from him. He knew there was no hope. Not after what he saw on the balcony.

_There'll be no resurrection_

_How can life break its promises_

_I even made this promise to myself_

_So close but never there again_

He sat hopeless as the fresh memory of Gates stroking Neela's cheek played over and over and over in his head. How could Neela be so cruel about it? Hadn't he made it quite clear in his own way that he loved her? The mixed CD, as cheesy as it was. Recording her favorite programmes when she couldn't watch them. Getting her _her_ cereal. Being there for her. _Kissing_ her. How could she _not_ figure it out?

Ray ordered yet another Jack and Coke – his fourth. The buzz was there, but he wasn't drunk enough to knock out the memory of Gates with Neela. Just the thought of her sleeping with him almost made Ray throw up.

He had thought, earlier that evening, that he and Neela had a chance. A chance to first regain friendship and maybe more. After all, things had started to go back to how things were _before_ Michael died. _Hell. Before they were married!_ He scoffed silently before downing another drink.

_Once a king_

_Now a prince_

_One step lower_

_On the list_

Ray didn't remember how the fight started, he just knew there was one and Pratt had kicked him out. He didn't want to go, but Pratt told him to go home. _So much for fucking friendship!_ Ray thought as he started walking. He found Carey's Bar and Grill. Not exactly his type of place, but it served alcohol and he needed _plenty_ of that. Jack and Coke seemed to bring him a vague sense of comfort. But, right now, mixing the Jack with Coke didn't seem right, so four shots of Jack…in the same glass, please.

He downed that glass quickly. He realised quickly that it wasn't exactly his brightest idea so Rum and Coke. As he finished off the Rum and Coke, he began to feel a little nauseated. He laughed silently as he realized he could no longer handle his liquor like he used to. He grabbed his coat and started to walk off when he heard his phone vibrating. He turned around and grabbed the phone.

He saw her name. She was calling him, but why? To tell him what he already knew? She had chosen Gates, despite everything she told him in the restaurant. He stepped back as he heard the bleating of a horn and found he'd almost been hit by a UPS truck. _Why the fuck are they out at one in the morning?_ Ray looked at the truck. He flipped his phone open to see she had left him a voice mail.

Then he saw the lights.

_It's not plain and simple innocence_

_'Cause we've been through more now_

_And it's left its scars somehow_

Ray woke up in the hospital. He looked down and realised the truth of what happened. He sighed. _I was hoping it was a dream. Why can't it be?_ Katey had been there, helping him. His mom had come to help. Despite everything, he could only think of her. Why wasn't _she_ there? He had to call her.

She had come. She tried to tell him that she was sorry and she broke it off with Gates. This, only _after_ he told her he fought for her; trusted her and even fell in love with her. He felt it didn't matter, but as he drifted off to sleep, he was surprised to find her still sitting there.

Ray didn't remember much. But what he did remember was a soft kiss on the neck, him whispering her name, and Neela assuring him he'd get through this. He looked at her and saw something in her eyes he hadn't seen before. She loved him, but it didn't matter, did it?

He glared at his mom as they left Chicago. He was closer to Neela and his mom, refused to listen to him, took him home to Baton Rouge. He looked out the window. _ So much for fucking forever._

_Oh, oh, oh now what's done is done_

_It's close so close but never there again_


	2. Only Miss You When I'm Dreaming

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. They belong to ER, NBC, Michael Crichton and the other Powers that be that ruin our Roomies, but not to me sadly. Oh, I don't own Jerry Springer either. He owns himself, I think. I own the VHS tape of ALICE IN WONDERLAND, but I don't anyone or anything related to ALICE IN WONDERLAND. I just like how it fit in the story.**

**The song is "ONLY MISS YOU WHEN I'M DREAMING" by Westlife. I only own the CD the song is on. Westlife owns the song.  
**

**Spoilers: "I Don't" and "The Honeymoon's Over"**

**Content Warning: None…**

**Summary: Neela only misses Ray when she's dreaming.**

* * *

_Today I didn't think of you_

_Today was alright_

_I had a lot of things to do_

_I was moving on with my life_

Neela walked through the door, thankful the day was over. It hadn't been the worst of days, but it hadn't exactly been the best of days. She had returned to work the week before after some time to recover from being trampled after the bomb went off during the anti-war rally. She poured herself a glass of red wine and made her way to the couch. She looked at the stereo, tempted to put some music on. But, when she pressed play, she heard Ray's voice.

_But now I need some answers, some answers_

_I'm tired and I'm getting weak_

_Some answers, some answers_

She wiped a tear and then turned the CD off. She missed him, but she couldn't let it dominate her life. After all, there wasn't much said between them, with him in Louisiana and her in Illinois. He had called her once and she called him once. There was the occasional email and snail mail, but not much. She had learned to push what she felt about him down to where she couldn't just pull it up at will.

Her phone rang, but she let the answer phone get it. "Neela? It's Morris. Look, Pratt is really sick and I know you've just pulled…"

Neela picked up the phone. "Morris?"

"Neela? I thought that you'd…"

"I'll be in soon. Give me a second to grab my coat." Neela hung up before Morris could say anything.

Frank looked at Neela as she walked in. "Look who's here. Doctor Death."

"Nice to see you too, Frank." Neela retorted.

"I'm just saying."

"Fine." Neela walked into the Doctor's Lounge.

Abby looked at Neela, surprised to see her. "What are you doing here, Neela?"

"Pratt's sick and Morris called me." Neela replied lightly. "So, I'm here."

"You look like hell. When did you last sleep?" Abby crossed her arms.

Neela pondered a moment. "Not sure, really. Can't sleep much anyway. Too much to do." She headed out and grabbed a chart.

_I only miss you when I'm dreaming_

_That's why I don't wanna close my eyes_

_Tell me why you only hurt me when I'm sleeping_

_The only time I can't put up a fight_

_Is when I'm dreaming_

Her second shift over, Neela nearly crawled into her apartment. Her body begged for sleep, but she didn't want to sleep. Sleep brought memories of him and the lost hopes of what could have been. She yawned as she turned on the T.V. to watch whatever was on. "Jerry Springer. I love him." She laughed. "Let's see. 'Transvestite man sleeps with cousin, who's sleeping with his best friend's brother, who happens to be sleeping with the slut down the street, who really is a hooker'. Sounds good." She plopped down on the couch and began to watch.

_Another hour passes by_

_It's gonna be a long night ahead_

_Coz I feel you creeping up inside my mind_

_Every time I look at my bed_

**Neela looked around. There was something strange about the hospital. It was too white. It was too empty. She looked ahead of her and saw Ray looking at her. "Ray?" She yelled.**

**He softly smiled at her. "Neela." His voice was soft and barely recognizable. He looked around. "Gotta go!"**

"**NO! Don't leave! Ray!" Her voice became desperate as she ran after him. The once white hospital corridor turned into a checkered Alice in Wonderland corridor. She looked down and saw the tell tale white apron and blue dress of the heroine of the fairy tale star. "Wait! Ray!" She continued to chase him.**

**She wiped spider webs and dust from her path as she continued to search for him. "Looking for someone?" She saw the grin.**

"**I'm looking for…" She gasped as the smile of what had been the Cheshire Cat had turned into Ray.**

"**Ray?"**

"**There's no Ray here." The cat now turned into Gates.**

"**But, I just saw…"**

"**You saw noone." The smile faded and she felt the ground open up beneath her and she felt herself falling.**

_But now I need some answers, some answers_

_I'm tired and I'm weak_

_Some answers, some answers_

Neela woke up with a shock. It was the same dream every time. She'd see Ray and he'd take off running. Some nights, he was a ghost and other nights, it was the 'Alice in Wonderland' dream. She felt the tears in her eyes. "I hate sleeping!" She screamed. She got up and made some coffee, determined to not fall asleep again.

She knew the coffee would only last a couple hours, so she promised herself she would make herself coffee every hour if she had to. She paced around. "I can't do this. If I'm not working, I'll fall asleep and I can't. I just can't!"

_I only miss you when I'm dreaming_

_That's why I don't wanna close my eyes_

_Tell me why you only hurt me when I'm sleeping_

_The only time I can't put up a fight (dreaming)_

To say that Abby had been shocked at one in the morning to get a call from Neela to cover her shift would have been the understatement of the year. "Neela, honey. You need to sleep. You look like hell."

"You already said that."

"It's true, Neela. I can handle my shift. Luka's home for a couple weeks before heading back, so he can watch Joe and he can come in if needed."

"I can't sleep, Abby." Neela felt the tears.

_The only time I can't live without you (dreaming)_

_I can't let you go_

_Oh no_

"Why not?" Abby's voice was full of concern.

"It's the only time I can't fight."

"Fight?"

"Ray."

"You're fighting Ray?" Abby was thoroughly confused.

"His memory. I miss him and I…it's the only time I allow myself to think about…" Neela began to cry. "I can't help but think I'm the reason he's not here."

"You're not to blame, honey." Abby soothed. "I'll go prescribe some sleeping pills for you."

"I DON'T WANT TO SLEEP!" Neela screamed. "I can't handle it! It's the only time my defenses are down and I can't live with the memory of what I did to him, Abby."

"Then go to him."

_I only miss you when I'm dreaming_

_That's why I don't wanna close my eyes_

_Tell me why you only hurt me when I'm sleeping_

_The only time I can't control my mind, oh_

_And the only time I can't put up a fight_

_I miss you when I'm dreaming_


	3. Wishing You Were Here

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. They belong to ER, NBC, Michael Crichton and the other Powers that be that ruin our Roomies, but not to me sadly. **

**The song is "Wishing You Were Here" by Debbie Gibson. I own the CD the song is on, but Debbie Gibson actually owns the song.  
**

**Spoilers: "I Don't" and "The Honeymoon's Over"**

**Content Warning: None…**

**Summary: Is there a summary? Well, Sam and Ray have a close friendship in this part of the story…does that count as a summary? LoL**

* * *

_I'm writing letters and your candle is burning_

_Things could be better, can't handle this yearning._

_Can't stop my head from spinning,_

_Wishing you were here._

**So, the city isn't in its usual glamour, to say the least.**

Ray merely grinned at Sam's last line of her email. After he left County, he had written her to let her know everything and, not surprising to Ray, she was the only one that kept in constant touch. There had been a couple emails from various other persons he knew from County, but Sam. He could count on an email every hour from her. In the email exchange, he and Sam had developed a friendship that he felt almost rivaled his friendship with Neela. As per her usual email, she updated him on everything that happened back in County.

_Well, almost everything. _He thought. He felt Sam was holding something back from him. He had asked her several times about Neela, but Sam effectively avoided the subject. The last email he received from Neela was about two weeks after he arrived in Baton Rouge seven months earlier.

He decided to press the issue.

_Look at your photo but it still can't hold me,_

_I just recall the things you never ever told me_

_Like you're the one and I am_

_Wishing you were here._

He looked at the picture that was taken of him and Neela in happier times. It was the one that he decided would be best for the CD he cut for her. He laughed as he remembered making that CD. "What the hell was I thinking?" He asked the photo.

He realised a while back that, despite every attempt on his part, he couldn't forget Neela. He couldn't stop loving her. Katey had come down and stayed for a couple weeks and before she left, she told Ray that until he decided to completely leave Neela, to not call her again. He should have been torn up over it, but he wasn't. He stared at the picture for a few moments before pressing the Neela issue with Sam.

**So, things are continuing to carry on without me? I am hurt, Sam. Really hurt. LoL Seriously, though. Thanks for keeping me up to date on things, but why aren't you telling me about Neela? Has something happened and no one wants to tell me…and if something has, why doesn't anyone want to tell me?**

**I'm glad to hear how things are going, but if I don't hear one damn word about how Neela's doing or what's going on…I haven't heard from her for seven months, Sam, and I am getting worried. Her email was distant and rather cold, like she was hiding something.**

**What's going on?**

**But, I am going to extend an invite to come and visit. Katey did and I'm sure she may have already said things that are less than flattering of me…don't blame her though. Should be completely depressed she won't come and visit, but I'm not. Why? I still love Neela, Sam. Why? After everything, why do I still love her? Why is it every time I see the sunsets, I wish she was here to see it with me?**

_Wish you were here_

_To see the moon in the sky_

_Oh here, to see the light in your eyes_

_Looking at the stars and_

_Wishing you were here._

Ray looked out the window to his left and saw the magenta of the sun setting and he smiled to himself. The live oak trees in the backyard provided the perfect frame for the sunset and the Spanish Moss added texture. He looked back to his email and decided to close it out and send it.

_The clock is ticking but the time moves slowly_

_The weeks go quickly so you just won't know me_

_I'm writing love songs and I'm wishing_

He clumsily walked outside. He had just gotten his prosthetics and getting used to them was the toughest thing he ever had to go through. He sat down and watched the sun set.

"I know everyone says 'a penny for your thoughts', but since it's you, I'll offer ten dollars." Ray's mom sat next to him.

Ray smiled. "I was just thinking about how much I love this place."

"Uh-hunh."

"What? You don't believe me?" Ray looked at his mom.

"This came today." She handed him a letter.

"And you're just giving it to me?" Ray took it.

"I'll leave you to it." Jaycee placed Ray's tea down and left.

_Wish you were here,_

_To see the moon in the skies_

_Oh here, to see the light in your eyes_

_Looking at the stars and_

_Wishing you were here_

_To put a smile on my face_

_Oh here, to get caught in my_

_Warm embrace_

_Looking at the stars and_

_Wishing you were here_

Ray recognized the writing on the front and carefully opened the letter, shocked that she was writing him. He found it funny, ironic, and everything other word he could use to describe it.

**Sorry that it's been so long to write to you, but I'm sure you weren't really expecting anything. Especially after your last email. The truth is, Ray, that this place is empty. I wasn't lying. I don't know if you'll understand why I couldn't, why I wouldn't write.**

**It's all my fault. Katey told me and I believe her…If I had just…but life if full of 'If I had justs', right?**

Ray put the letter down. He couldn't read anymore of it. He didn't care why she didn't write anymore. He sat in silence for a few moments before his mom came out. "Ray?"

"Yeah?"

"Phone call." She handed him the phone.

"Ray?"

He recognized Sam's voice. "Hey, Sam. What's up?"

She took a deep breath. "There's something you should know about Neela and don't tell anyone where you heard it. We didn't tell you because we wanted to protect you."


	4. Where I Wanna Be

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. They belong to ER, NBC, Michael Crichton and the other Powers that be that ruin our Roomies, but not to me sadly.  
**

**The song is "Where I Wanna Be" by Debbie Gibson. ****I own the CD the song is on, but Debbie Gibson owns the song.**

**Spoilers: "I Don't" and "The Honeymoon's Over"**

**Content Warning: None…**

**Summary: My muses play tricks on you with this one! LoL**

* * *

_Talking all the talk that makes me feel strong_

_Going all the places where smiles greet me_

_Can't get it through my head_

_that I did nothing wrong_

_It would be easier if I had myself to blame_

_But it's pouring rain under my umbrella_

"You're sure you're fine?" Abby sipped her coffee as she sat across from Neela.

"Yeah." Neela weakly smiled. "I'm fine. It's just that what if he doesn't want me to visit?"

Abby laughed. "Sorry, honey." She put her hand on Neela's. "We all knew a long time ago that Ray loved you."

"But it's been how long now?"

"You don't stop loving someone after seven months especially when someone loves you with the depth and passion Ray loved you. Listen, he would have died to protect you. Honey, that's love. I don't doubt Luka loves me, but there are times I wonder if he'd die to protect me." Abby smiled. "You'll never know unless you go and you'll walk around moping because you don't know. Go, Neela."

_I tried walking around,_

_'round these streets by myself_

_Said "pretty girl don't look down"_

_But I could look no place else_

_The smiles, the bed, the telephone_

_And still I can't make him see_

_And I can't call this life my own_

_Cause I'm not where I want to be_

Neela knew Abby was right, but the fear of Ray rejecting her terrified her. She made a weak promise to Abby that she would go visit. Neela shut the door behind Abby. It was three in the morning, but Neela was far from tired. She quickly hopped in the shower and decided, against her better judgment, to go for a walk. Maybe find one of those 24-hour places and have breakfast and then go to work.

She walked down the street, daring to look up only to make sure she wasn't running into anyone. Neela sat on a bench and looked out over the Chicago River, thankful that summers were hot, sometimes too much so, in Chicago. She didn't hear someone calling her name until it was right next to her.

_Going out with the girls on a Saturday night_

_Reaching out to strangers_

_so I don't feel deeply moved_

_Yeah they're my friends and I like them alright_

_But they can't do the things that we used to do_

_So I've got to say that I miss you baby_

"Neela?" Sam's voice broke through Neela's thoughts. "You okay?" She sat next to the young doctor.

Neela smiled. "I'm fine, Sam. Really."

"Ray's been asking about you."

Neela felt as though she had just been thrown a curveball. "What?"

"Yeah. You know he and I keep in constant touch." Sam smiled.

"Yeah. You two always got along well." Neela leaned back. "What did you tell him?"

"I've avoided the subject." Sam sat back as well. "But he keeps pushing the issue." A huge sigh escaped Sam's lips. "I got an email from him earlier and he was telling me about the sunset and how much he wished he could share it with you." She shifted so she could face Neela. "He still loves you, Neela. Don't let that go."

_It's amazing how one little broken heart_

_Can radiate so much pain_

_Some guy looked at me and then he turned away_

_Saw my eyes sayin' I will never fall again_

Neela simply looked at Sam before excusing herself. She walked along the river, wishing she could believe it. She had known Ray had feelings for her, just as she had for him. They were no more than lust, she made herself believe at the time, but now she realised, realised when he kissed her, that the feelings weren't just lust. Lust was what she felt for Michael and for Tony. With Ray, it was different. She loved – truly loved – Ray with everything that was in her.

_I tried walking around,_

_By myself_

_Said "pretty girl don't look down"_

_But I could look no place else_

_The smiles, the bed, the telephone_

_Still I can't make him see_

_I can't call this life my own_

_Cause I'm not where I want to be_

Neela woke up with a shock. She had fallen asleep on her couch. She looked around. Had she dreamt the conversation with Abby? With Sam? Did she walk along the river, refusing to look at anyone because it was hard for her to because with every face she looked at, she saw Ray's? She sat up and rubbed her eyes. She was going to need coffee after all. It was going to be a long day.


	5. Miss You Nights

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters. They belong to ER, NBC, Michael Crichton and the other Powers that be that ruin our Roomies, but not to me sadly.  
**

**The song is "MISS YOU NIGHTS" by Westlife. I own the CD the song is on, but Westlife owns the song.**

**Spoilers: "I Don't" and "The Honeymoon's Over"**

**Content Warning: None…**

**Summary: Miss you nights are tough.**

**(A/N: I know in "WHERE I WANNA BE", it was written as summer, but having recalculated and my muses making WIWB a dream, it's really set in November, 7 months after the wedding/accidents. I put this in so there wouldn't be confusion about it. Navy)**

* * *

_I've had many times I can tell you_

_Times when innocence I'd trade for company_

_And children saw me crying_

_I thought I'd had my share of that_

_But these miss you nights are the longest_

Ray sat silent, still on his back porch. The sun had set a couple hours earlier, but he was reveling in the warmth cool of the November evening. He had finished his conversation with Sam only moments earlier. He wiped his eyes. _How could she not tell me?_ He pondered as his mom's German Shepard, Neiro, lazily stretched beside him. "Then to find out the day it happened!" He leaned down and petted the dog that lay beside him. "I don't…" he looked up as he heard the screen door close.

"You okay?" Jaycee sat next to her son. "You've been out here for a mighty long time." She handed him a plate. "Dirty rice." She smiled. "I know it's your favorite."

Ray smiled. He dug in and ate in silence until the phone rang again. "Hello?"

_Midnight diamonds stud my heaven_

_Southward burning like the jewels that are your face_

_And the warm winds that embrace me_

_Just as surely kissed your face_

_Yet these miss you nights they're the longest_

"It's Pratt."

"Long time no talk. Ya'll really that busy?" Pratt laughed on the other end. "What?"

"You. I work with you for how long and never realized how Southern your accent was." Ray imagined Pratt smiling. "Wanted to call and see what's up."

"You find there are times, Pratt, you actually _hate_ the night?"

"What? Why?"

"Because you have time to think…"

"And to miss." Pratt finished Ray's thought.

"Yeah." Ray silently responded.

"She's not sleeping. Told Abby she doesn't want to because it's the only time you hurt her."

_Lay down all thoughts of your surrender_

_It's only me who's killing time_

_Lay down all dreams and feelings once remembered_

_It's just the same this miss you game_

"Hurt her?" Ray didn't know how to respond.

"She was a mess after you left. She never said why, but after talking to Sam, whom you told, I was able to put two and two together. She's pulling doubles almost every other night and when she is home, I don't think she's sleeping."

"She's not written a lot, so what am I to do?"

"So, do you know what happened?" Pratt asked. Remembering his promise to Sam, Ray said he hadn't, so Pratt explained it. Ray pretended he hadn't just heard it. "She almost died, Ray." A point Sam had neglected to tell him.

_Thinking of my going _

_How to cut the thread and leave it all behind_

Ray stared silently to the tree line. As he was leaving Chicago, Neela was getting trampled on. He wondered how honest Sam had been and why she neglected to tell him that Neela had nearly died in the trampling. He sighed as Pratt continued to relay the story to him.

"She's fine now, Ray. Just not sleeping well."

A sense of guilt ran through Ray. His sleep hadn't been the best, filled with the memories of a love that he never had, but at least he slept. At least he found comfort. Did Neela?

_Looking windward for my comfort_

_I take each day as it arrives_

_But these miss you nights are the longest_

Ray swallowed hard. He hadn't realised Neela nearly died. He gave a quick excuse to Pratt to get off the phone. "Can I be alone, Mom?" Ray softly asked.

"Call her, Raymond." Jaycee softly kissed his cheek and left.

_What would I say?_ Ray pondered as he looked at the phone. He had missed her more than he would admit to anyone other than Sam. He had never thought about missing her on that level. He sighed as he looked up at the stars and debated calling her.

It was going to be a long night.

_But these miss you nights are the longest_


End file.
